Thursday, December 2, 2010

'Twas a Month Before Christmas

"'Twas a month before Christmas and all through the house, my furniture looked awful, I blame my spouse.
His stockings were flung on the floor without care, the smell alone was straightening my hair!
My shoes were nestled all snug on my bed, while visions stained upholstery danced in my head.
I thought of hiding the stains with a kerchief and cap, - I'll never fool the in-laws with an old trick like that!
When out in the hall there arose such a clatter, I really shouldn't hang light fixtures with tape and cake batter!
Propelled toward the window I flew like a flash, tripped over a broken table and an old drapery sash!
The moon on the crest of the new fallen snow, gave a luster to the junk pile where our old sofa should go.
When upon what did my wondering eyes begin to stare, but that old dining table and those eight folding chairs.
With a little screwdriver and some duct tape to stick, I realized my "repairs" would not do the trick.
More rapid than eagles, to the conclusion I came, I thought DIVINE CONSIGN and then yelled out their names.
Now Jimmy! Now Robert! Let's get us a fixin', before presents need opening and cocktails need mixin'!
From the top of the roof to those annoying knee walls, get rid of it, get rid of it, get rid of it all!
So out of the house the coursers I flew, with a handful of photos and a credit card too!
And there it was twinkling, right there on the street, the place where the environment and common sense meet.
As I drew in a breath while gaining some ground, I yelled "DIVINE CONSIGN" with my normal loud sound!
It was dressed with fab furniture in every square foot, a resale store not tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of good buys from the front to the back, it had an eco-conscious edge that other stores lacked.
My eyes how they twinkled, my cheeks like a berry, they have oodles of gift ideas for my mother-in-law Mary.
My droll little mouth was drawn up tight as a bow, as I checked off my list and needed only one place to go.
Then I saw it, this man who was gritting his teeth, he was eyeing the table I wanted for Keith!
The man had a broad face and a little round belly, I took him out so fast he was nothing but jelly.
Oh, there's a sofa so plump and a cherry bookshelf, I had to have it so I approached it with stealth.
I moved slowly but quickly and didn't turn my head, if someone knows I want it, I'll have something to dread!
I spoke not a word but went straight to my work, filling out "sold" tags while smiling a knowing smirk.
No more using my fingers to plug up my nose, as I walked by that chair that belonged to Aunt Rose!
I finished shopping and to the delivery team gave a whistle, and away we all flew like an old NASA missile.
As the delivery team finished and drove into the night, I happily exclaimed "Thanks DIVINE CONSIGN my house looks just right!"

No comments:

Post a Comment